


The Lonely

by ButterpuffFairy



Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Depression, Dreams, F/M, Gen, Memories, Sad, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 15:09:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/724690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterpuffFairy/pseuds/ButterpuffFairy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was based off the Song The Lonely by Christina Perri, Its about Mystique sitting by her window and remembering all the times her and Azazel had before things went bad. And that maybe, just maybe...she still had feelings for him after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> This is mainly Comicverse but I melded a bit of the movie verse in it as well. Enjoy.

2 am and she wakes up, she could feel his touch, his warmth…she could feel his breath on her skin.  
The nightmares had struck her again.

They had been slow dancing at the Ball again, his arms around her gently and his bright eyes looking into hers. Her white dress swaying as they danced, her arms around his neck…she never wanted to let go.

They were horseback riding again, Talking about her failed attempts to become a mother. He seemed to understand everything about her before she even explained it.

She was hunting for him again in the darkness, she could hear him before her as she ran to an old Church. She could see him standing there again…she could hear him telling her how magnificent she was. She could feel his lips on hers…

She was alone again…as he left her with their unborn child. She had always wanted to become a mother to a child that she could raise with a family and now it was in vain. 

She was sitting up countless nights again, tears rolling down her eyes as she gripped the pillow with a bottle of whiskey beside her. 

Raven walked to the window after she awoke from reliving these memories. She looked up at the moon and shook her head. “Why is it always you?” She asked, “Always…always you…” She gripped her knees as she sat in the window sill until her gown was almost ripping from the sheer tension. 

“Damn you…Damn you Azazel…” She cried to herself, “Victor was abusive…Logan couldn’t keep himself sober enough to love anyone but that damn Jean… Erik…Erik only loved his vision of the world that he wanted to create…And then there is you…” she then laughed to herself.  
“You pull me in, you bastard I actually love you.” She then froze, “Loved…you…I loved you.” 

She then gripped her hair and tugged at it violently, “You mother fucker why do I love you?! Why does my heart pound when I see or think about you? Why does my breath hitch when you smile that Damn crooked smile of yours?!?!” She screamed as tears rolled down her cheeks.

She looked up at the ceiling and drew in a shaky breath, “Leave me alone…please…Please just leave me be.” She closed her eyes and saw his, saw his charming smile and his heartless ways.   
“I'm so lonely without you…” She then remembered the woman who had her just as in love as Azazel did and broke down once more. “And then You die on my and I find out you had hated people like me that whole time…you…you worthless bitch…” She sobbed, “You beautiful…beautiful girl…”

This wasn’t the first time she had thought about leaving this whole world behind and allowing there to be one less mutant in this world. She had died twice but she had never remained gone for long. So she stayed away from everyone, and if she was around people she hid her sorrows. No one needed to carry her burdens but her, no one needed to know her that closely because then they would betray her…just like he did when he left her with empty promises of love and hope. Raven didn’t need false hope and fake love, she had enough of that already for herself. 

Her damned reflection haunted her every place she went, her blue skin, her yellow eyes…everyone else was so beautiful. Hunted and abused for the way she looked and how smart she was, she decided she would never be the love sick Raven that he had seen…she decided that since he thought it fit her so much she would embody Mystique and let no one understand her, let no one get close enough to hurt her again…if they got close…it was only so she could kill them first.

“Just the way you’d like it…” She said shakily, “That’s the ironic part; I became the thing you’d love more…because I didn’t want to be the thing you fell for in the first place…”

She looked up again and sighed, “Goodnight Azazel…wherever you may be…”


End file.
